Sofia Vergara sure knows how to welcome a guy home

Sofia Vergara is celebrating her 41st birthday on the set of her new movie CHEF, where she was filming what looks like the greatest homecoming ever on her special day. I don't know about you, but a big, happy smile along with a healthy pair of tits hanging out sounds like the best kind of welcome home I can imagine. Anyway, it's much better than the greeting I receive. About the closest thing to warmth in my single serving house is the stifling heat generated thanks to a dodgy HVAC system. Fall and winter is much better. In those months I get to come home to a silent, darkened hovel, mostly empty except for the strewn about clutter of various half-opened shipping boxes from assorted online retailers, containing things I forgot I bought while browsing the web with insomnia at 3 am. Empty cabinets, broken mirrors, bare walls decorated in nothing but cobwebs. Very much a Dickensian lifestyle for the 21st century.

Okay, I'm exaggerating. I think I've put up a few pictures in the hallway. I accidentally broke the mirror in the bathroom when I tripped on the bath mat and the cobwebs are over in the corner behind the couch where I can't reach them. Still, it's nothing like having Sofia around, flashing her tits at me. I do order a lot of shit off the web though. That part's true.